Leap Day, 2012: “Ain’t Been No Crystal Stair”

Hello, badly-neglected blog. Remember me? I’ve been feverishly working like a crazy woman on the final, final draft of a book I’d love to finish before this summer. And so, per my usual, Can Only Do One Thing At A Time, have churlishly cast you aside. Please forgive me.

This month I’ve been (haphazardly)  mulling over Joanna Macy’s World as Lover, World as Self. So as a final, February posting—thank you, Leap Day!—get to tell one more story that I think illustrates Macy’s loving, embracing, grace-filled world-view, specifically her “greening of the self.” Which means, as she says, to  transcend “separateness, alienation, and fragmentation,” getting beyond “that skin-encapsulated ego.”

So: One Saturday night, recently, my husband and I got on the Green Line T after attending a chamber-music concert. Like all Saturday nights in downtown Boston, the subway was packed with loud, party-hearty college students. Just as we squeezed on the train, for example, a young woman seated near us let everyone in the car know that when she turned twenty-one, she’d downed, yup, twenty-one shots of tequila. Get the picture?

Two seats away from Tequila Girl sat a heavy, tired-looking African-American woman, perhaps the only other older person in the car besides my husband and me. Looking at her exhausted face, I’d felt so protective, so outraged on her behalf: She’s just coming back from work, I decided.  She doesn’t NEED to deal with these dumb, obnoxious, entitled kids!

But then I noticed something truly amazing. Seated between that tired woman and Tequila Girl was another young woman—she may have even been TG’s friend. And on Date Night USA, guess what that young woman had on her lap? A very well-used, well-loved anthology of Langston Hugh’s poetry!

Just imagining why that young woman was carrying that thick book, just contemplating how the poetry in her book, the woman patiently sitting beside her, and all of us on that car were connected in some deep, profound way allowed me to shed my own skin-encapsulated and incredibly judgmental ego. (Hope you’re sensing this skin-on-the-back-of-my-neck-raising moment at least a little!)

Extraordinary!

February 13, 2012: World as Lover

The one beloved becomes many, and the world itself is [my] lover. (Joanna Macy)


Maybe it’s like this:

A couple of years ago, I bought a beautiful, little area rug from a struggling Tibetan/Nepali shop around the corner from my house. This rug now graces my front hall. Given how lovely it is, I paid very little for this gem. Why? Because, as the woman in the store was good enough to show me, it had two, small worn spots on it. And then she threw herself ON the rug to demonstrate how those worn spots were the result of someone, many someones, maybe, kneeling in prayer!

Taken aback by her over-the-top demonstration, stymied by my complete lack of information—Nepali people pray on rugs? I thought only Muslims do that. I am so ignorant!—I was not able to really take in what she told me. Not really. But the other day, vacuuming that rug, I got it. And was filled with, yup, great love for both that agile saleswoman and all those unseen, only to be imagined knees!

February 3, 2012: World as . . . battleground?

Slooowly reading Joanna Macy’s World as Lover, World as Self: Courage for Global Justice and Ecological Renewal. My glacial speed is partly because I never read books like this very fast (it takes me months to finish anything byPema Chodron) but mostly because Macy’s so freakin’ Right On!

So still absorbing her analysis re how we look at the world:

World as Battleground.

World as Trap

World as Lover

World as Self

And wouldn’t you know it? Am discovering that, good Quaker that I strive to be, much of how I relate to the world IS about “the reassuring sense that you are fighting God’s battle—and that ultimately you will win.”

Whoa!

Macy talks about a variation of this paradigm: “A more innocuous version of the battlefield image of the world is the one I learned from my grandparents. it is the world as a classroom, or a kind of moral gymnasium, where you are put though tests to prove your mettle and shape you up, so you can graduate to other arenas and rewards.”

Macy’s “innocuous version”  describe an insidious trait of mine and shared by my Cambridge/Somerville/intellectual friends—and they ARE my friends—I’ve shorthanded to “The Harvard Syndrome.” Although I did not go to Harvard, must admit I see myself struggling in that “moral gymnasium,” sometimes.

Ouch.